Oh how those words resound through my mind at least once a day! I usually post about fun events and memorable moments, but today I feel the need to write about where our family stands at this point of the journey....
Looking back over the past couple of years, it seems life is getting easier as our babies get older. For example, both kids eat the same food, can feed themselves for the most part, bathe together and entertain each other fairly easily. Kyle and I can now sit on our back patio and watch our two play in the backyard while we eat. I can’t wait for the summer to be able to fill up our miniature pool and actually sit and soak up some sun! (Well, more than last year anyway.)
Now don’t get me wrong- the fact they these babies are growing up so quickly makes me terribly sad!! So sad that, on occasion, we toy with the idea of trying for another child... and then we quickly snap back to reality ;) But what I am trying to say here is that the logistics of daily activities are significantly easier than they used to be. Things like cooking, feeding, dressing, getting out the door, bathing, and putting kids in bed can actually be done by just one person. (Although two is much better than one)
On the contrary, Kyle and I are challenged with something new everyday it seems: a new boundary to set, a new form of defiance, a new fascination with something he/she shouldn’t touch in the first place, another streak of independence, etc. We are definitely entering some uncharted territory. Here are some of our common struggles these days:
Scenario 1:
Collin: “But if Brantlee can have a paci, then why can’t I?”
Me/Kyle: “Because she is a baby, and you are a big boy. And big boys don’t have pacifiers.” (Note: We trashed his paci right when he turned 2. This would classify as a relapse.)
Collin: “Well then I’ll just be a baby, too. Will you hold me like a baby??”
Solution: Brantlee can no longer have a paci unless she is sleeping. If not, Collin will certainly jerk it out of her mouth and suck it until we take it away, resulting in screaming, tears, and a trip to time-out.
Scenario 2:
Kyle or me: “Collin, it’s time to use the potty. You haven’t been in a while.”
Collin: “But Brantlee gets to tee-tee in her diaper. Why can’t I tee-tee in my diaper, too?”
Me/Kyle: “Because she is a baby, and you are a big boy. And big boys don’t tee-tee in their pants. Plus, Sissy likes to watch you go potty. You need to teach her how.”
Solution: Pray he buys it and force him to sit on the potty and at least try. (He almost always has to go, and he rarely wets his pants these days.)
Scenario 3:
Kyle/Me: “Collin, it’s time for your bath.”
Collin: “NO!”
Kyle/Me: “Collin, it’s time for dinner. Look, we are having spaghetti!”
Collin: “NO!”
Kyle/Me: “Aren’t you ready to pick out your pajamas for bedtime?”
Collin: “NO! I’ll just be naked.”
Solution: Count to 3 and then if that doesn’t work, a visit to time-out seems to help. Clearly, he has his own agenda, and I am fully aware that this type of behavior is perfectly and developmentally normal for this age. But whew! - it wears us out!
Scenario 4:
Collin wants a bowl of ice cream and is old enough and mature enough to eat it all by himself. Naturally, Brantlee wants one too now that she sees Collin’s. She, on the other hand, needs lots of help with hers. Does she think so? Of course not! She jerks away when I try to grab the spoon or try to hold the bowl and screams like she is being tortured!
Solution: Put old clothes on her and stick her in the yard with bowl and spoon and let her have it all to herself. Usually half the ice cream has melted before she is able to eat 4 bites, but she doesn’t know or doesn’t care. She is just tickled to be doing it all herself ;)
Scenario 5:
Brantlee is reaching and whining for something on the counter in the kitchen. I pick her up and ask her what she wants.
Brantlee: “This,” she says and points.
Me: “What?? Is this what you want?”
Brantlee: shakes her head, “no.” “This!”
Me: “What?? This?? Is this what you want?”
Brantlee: (frustrated at this point and shakes her head.) “This!!”
Me: “Ugh!! I don’t see anything!! What?” I pick up the lid to a sippy cup. (surely this is not what she has been whining about?) “Is this what you want?”
Brantlee: “Yeah..... this is this.” She is now as happy as can be.
Solution: Be patient, I guess. Her most recent words of wisdom are “This is this and That is that.” So philosophical, don’t you think?
I used to think that the most challenging part of parenting were the sleepless nights, which did and still make me hit my knees in prayer for mercy. But I can already see that parenting only gets tougher the older our kids get, and each stage brings different challenges. And now that I am working with teenagers everyday and I see their struggles, I will gladly take my ice cream and pacifier wars!
On just about any day, I have moments where I want time to stand still... and other moments where I have to take deep breaths and just pray for grace, wisdom, and calmness. Other moments lead to really loud sighs and sometimes screams of frustration. (I wish those were fewer and farther between though.) All in all, I think Kyle and I would agree that we are very excited about what lies ahead on our journey of parenting, but you better believe we are holding on for dear life!!
Other than "driving," Brantlee only wanted to admire the fire truck from a distance.
